To Emerald City!
by nemurustar
Summary: This is my entry to the LJ comm's "Spring Time Fairytale Challenge" as well as my Valentine's day special. A parody on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. 3 guesses who's Dorothy! Crack ensures! Rated T for the colorful language.


A.N.: Yes, finally a break from all my gloomy fics! ONTO THE CRACK!

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"This. is. RIDICULOUS!" Iruka's lips were set in an irritated frown. He stared down at the the dog by his side. "Well, you can look at it on the bright side, Iruka-sensei. Not every guy can pull off a pretty blue dress and those sparkly silver shoes like you can! And not to mention, those 2 lovely pigta-" At that unnecessary comment, Iruka threw a silver shoe at the unToto-like Pakkun but unfortunately the dog managed to dodge the flying shoe. "Careful there, sensei. Lose a shoe and you can't go back to Konoha!"

"SHUT UP, PAKKUN!"

And so, the fuming tanned _Dorothy_ stomped his way down the yellow brick road, muttering something about killing some weird idiot at Emerald City. Pakkun meanwhile was being the good dog he was, snickering at every thing and still going along with the theme.

"Kakashi, get your ass off that pole! We're going to Emerald City." Iruka glared at the silver haired Jounin, waiting for him to help himself off the pole he was perched on.

"But Iruka-sensei, the hole will get lonely once the pole leaves it. Care to _be_ the replacement?"

The obscene wiggling of the visible eyebrow practically asked for the flying silver shoe to be aimed at him.

"YOUR BRAIN WILL WORK PERFECTLY FINE IF YOU JUST GET IT OFF THAT GUTTER NOVEL OF YOURS!"

"Careful Iruka-sensei, lose a shoe and you won't get back to Konoha!"

"SHUT UP! And give me that shoe!"

"Give me your _pole_ and I'll return you your shoe."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Yeah! I'd like that!"

"Erm, guys. You're taking too long over there. I'm rusting over here."

And so their attention reverted to the rusty tin woodman, who was quietly sitting there waiting for Iruka to oil him.

"Hmm... Yamato there needs _lubricant_ Iruka-kun. What flavor do you think we should spare him?Vanilla or strawberry?"

"Err, no sempai... I don't think that's a good idea."

Unfortunately, before the ANBU could finish his sentence, Iruka already gotten hold of the pole Kakashi was on earlier and whacked the perverted Jounin on the head for that.

Meanwhile, Pakkun went over to Yamato with the can of oil in his mouth and poured it around. "And now we wait and watch kid. This could take a while." Yamato nodded in agreement and watched the little squabble that went on.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei! You're taking too long! I'm hungry! You're supposed to buy me ramen at Emerald City!"

As with Yamato earlier, every one shifted their attention to the vibrant blond that was Naruto- or the lion.

Iruka groaned in frustration. Why was he put in such a position? He must have done something real bad in his previous life. That or the fangirls are at it again with their evil scheming that may or may not entail to him giving into the pervert's wishes. And so Iruka let out a sigh in resign.

Finally, an hour and a dozen of Orochimaru's henchmen on the ground later- they picked a wrong day to mess with the irritated Chuunin in a blue dress- they finally found themselves in Emerald City.

But just as they entered the gates, Yamato and Pakkun had conveniently disappeared while Naruto rushed toward the popular ramen stall, leaving Iruka alone with Kakashi and that thrash novel of his.

"Hey, what happened to visiting the Wizard?"

Kakashi rolled his only visible eye.

"Look. I'm already a genius. Yamato, despite his weird ways, is a caring man with a heart and Naruto, is the bravest shinobi in the entire village. We don't actually need all the things in the script."

Iruka smiled warmly as he watched the bright orange back sitting at the ramen bar, downing bowls of ramen. Of course he knew how brave Naruto was. He was very proud of the young man that was once his student and now working his way gracefully toward his dream of becoming a Hokage.

"Wait! I still need to go back to Konoha."

Iruka was genuinely worried. He still had his responsibilities as a teacher to teach the little brats at the Academy.

Before he could let out another word of protest, he felt a warm pair of lips covering his own.

"What are you talking about? You're already home." Kakashi flashed a toothy grin.

And then Iruka jolted up from his bed, inadvertently bumping straight into Kakashi's face.

"Ow! Careful there! I think you might have broken a jaw." Kakashi rubbed jaw where Iruka had unexpectedly woken up from his sleep.

It took a few moments to realize what happened and when it did, Iruka apologized profusely to his injured boyfriend. Kakashi shrugged it off and instead kissed the gentle fingers that tried to sooth his pain. He fished out a box of Iruka's favorite chocolate coated strawberries.

"Happy Valentine's day, _Dorothy-chan_!"

Kakashi immediately jutsu-ed himself away in time before the alarm clock went flying to his head, laughing gleefully at the Chuunin's embarrassment.

"SHUT UP!"


End file.
